Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Night Before Christmas-Lair Style

by Joanie

Must be Christmas, must be Christmas, must be Christmas, Christmas Day!

Ok, well it will be in 12 more days. Today we celebrate the first day of the 12 days of Banditas' Christmas. We're taking a special look at the preparations that go on when Santa prepares for his annual journey. Lean close and look into the magic Lair kaleidoscope...

"Well, I think that about does it," said Santa, leaning back in his chair. "We've gotten all the lists reviewed, the presents packed and, " he looked at his cell phone, "we'll be ready to head out."

"Not quite, big guy."

Santa looked over his glasses at Wee, his head elf. "What do you mean? I've gotten Asia, Africa, Europe, the Americas. It's all there on the North Pole App."

"You haven't reviewed the Bandita list yet." Wee smirked.

Santa felt the blood rain from his face. He cleared his throat and motioned for the iPad. "Hmmm..all right then. We'll start with the Aussies. That Christine's been a very good girl this year so we'll double the Tim Tams in her stocking. Ho, ho, ho...and Helen, she does make a tasty Chrissy cake."

Wee leaned back and propped his feet on the worktable. "Yeah. After last year's cake, you were jolly all the way through to Groundhog's Day."

"Never mind," Santa shot back. "Anna C. She's definitely on the naughty list. It's nearly impossible to pop down her chimney and make it out in one piece. I lost ten pounds and three hours Christmas Eve running from her as she giggled something about Jingle Bells."

Wee squinted. "Is that a twinkle in your eye?"

Santa cleared his throat again. Goodness, his mouth was dry. "Anna in England will get her usual order of hockey pucks."

"That's hunks," corrected Wee, "She wants hockey hunks."

Santa waved a dismissive hand. "She'll get them if they'll fit in her stocking. She always asks for XL. Zipping his finger down the screen, he continued. "Quite a few Bandits and Buddies in the Americas. KJ...well, we need a GPS to find that girl. Never know where she'll be on Christmas. And dear Lord, make sure we take the super sleigh. Cassondra and Jeanne have asked for "fire power" again. So much paperwork."

Wee tapped his Blackberry. "Gotcha and I'll up the shielding too before you seing by Nancy's."

"Good idea. That blasted dragon always makes rooftop landings a challenge."

"Who's left?" asked Wee.

"Oh, quite a few," replied Santa. "On the nice list we have Caren, Susan, Inara, Jo. PJ who I've heard has been baking, Trish with her wonderful YA stories, Christie and Beth." His eyes went wide as the naughty list, flashing red, came on screeen. "Donna wants a new corset and Suzanne...hehehehe,"

Wee raised one brow.

Santa coughed again. Has to be the dry North Pole air. "Suzanne will get what she wants. That leaves Kate and Tawny....we'll need oven mitts for those two...and Aunty Cindy...VERY naughty indeed."

"There's one more."

"Ah, yes. Joanie T." Santa pondered the iPad.

"She's awfully nice but a bit naughty...around the edges," Wee mused.

"Ho, ho, ho, you're right about that. We'd best visit her first to find out."

Late Christmas Eve.....

Santa landed silently in the fireplace of Joanie T's Lair room. This should be a quick trip. Baking supplies, savvy agent names, multi-book contract. Wrapping his magic around him, he stepped into the room.

SQUEAK!!!!

The mouse in a ball rolled beneath his boot causing Santa to lose his footing. He staggered toward the Christmas tree.

SSSSSCATTTTT!!!!

"My eyes! My eyes!" he cried as the hidden aerosol can hissed a stream of air into his face. Blinded, he grabbed for the tree which swung like a flag from a pole from the rope holding it to the wall.

Meow...meow...meow...

Santa's vision cleared in time to see two pairs of emerald green eyes moving toward him from the dark. Grayson and Cricket!!! Had he seen them on the list??? Frantically, he searched his bag, releasing a sigh of relief as his hand curled around a large jar of catnip.

Catnip?!

He peered at the most beautiful cats in the world who seemed to be smiling right before they leaped.

And he said as he flew into the night "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good....aggghhhhh"

What about you? Will you be on the naughty or nice list? If I put you on the wrong list, convince me why you should change. What can Santa expect at your house Christmas Eve night?

It's FINALLY here! The hackey hudjson 12 Days of Christmas Booty. Every day between now and Christmas, one lucky commenter per day will win a daily prize and on some days, additional goodies from that day's blogging Bandita or guest. On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, we'll give away more booty including autographed books, GR mugs and much more! Come join us! Tell your friends! Let's make the Season BRIGHT!

No comments:

Post a Comment