Merkin, My Mama and a Chair

My one day home between those manic three weeks of travel found it and me cold as ice. Overcoat cold. So I brandished (brandish…when was the last time YOU used THAT word in a sentence? I think this is a first for me) my Polo camel hair polo overcoat and invited my man Merkin, in the form of his scarf that was bequeathed me after he went on, to accompany me to Old Town and the office. Of all the days to walk to work, this one was, let’s say…chilly. Shut up.

Restoration Hardware is a spoon (3-wood) away from my office. (When was the last time you hearkened back to the jargon/vernacular of golf’s formative years and used the word spoon in a sentence to describe the forerunner of a modern 3-wood? This is about the seventh time for me-this month) And I think their repositioning and elevating of their offerings, coupled with a hard edit on the tchotchke is a positive thing but I mostly go in to gander around with LFG. Butcept the other day Merkin and I tucked in for two reasons...a reprieve from the cold and maybe a Christmas gift for my mama. (When was the last time you used the words hearken and gander in the same paragraph? Invite me over for Scrabble. Let’s play for cash money)  

I feigned curiosity about a few things as I thawed out but the comforter for my mama didn’t seem just right. These late 19^th Century Butt Police Calipers interested me but I’m a bit cash poor these days and butt calipers are low on the list.

But then…but then…I spotted this chair. I like aesthetics…surprise I know. But I’m so-so on furniture. But this chair is different and I SWEAR it’s comfortable. Designed in the spirit of WWII fighter planes, it began talking to me. 

And I now have a craving flung on me like I haven’t experienced in years. Thirty three years to be precise. I haven’t hankered like this since I got a nanosecond glimpse of the elastic waistband on Roxanne Burgess’ cotton drawers in the seventh grade. 

And no, before you ask, I wasn't doing anything pertaining to Miss Burgess that I oughtna. She bent over to pick up her books and it was just there for a moment, in my visual thingy. Shut up.

And I sat in it. And I liked it. I could read in this chair for hours. And with its sturdy leather and stainless steel shrouding, if I upchucked a little bit or something, an easy cleanup, sometime within the ensuing ten days would be a no brainer. I gotta have this thing.

But where would I put it? I have a great barrel backed leather wing chair that I got from Restoration about four years ago.

 I think the wing chair should go to my office and the cockpit chair should replace it at home. So far so good right?

So Saturday I took my girlfriend LFG in to review the chair. She pondered it for a spell.

And then the verdict came. She no likeee da chair. Alas. Gotta figure out how to win the little chair critic over. Ideas?

Onward. Wiff…Scarf, Goggles and Chair Owning Intent.

ADG, II