My motivation for round two is consistent with my initial foray into this subject. This is not a post of ridicule; it’s an effort to assist. This is a call-out for gals to either reconsider or upgrade their sieve…their vetting process for deciding what photos to include with their man seeking online profiles…or accept the onslaught of potential suitors that said photos attract. If you're lookin' for a cowboy, I reckon these hats are just the thing to rope 'em in. Long as you know that. Giddyup and then shut up.
And let me say something here and now about the middle-age dating world. It ain’t all fun and games. Life’s complexities in general and more specifically, everyone’s day-to-day responsibilities and commitments turn first date experiences...sometimes...into tedious undertakings. I’m not proud of the fact that the bar women use to define a man as being “acceptable—interesting—a good catch” seems to get incrementally lower with every birthday I have. But you can bet your sweet bippy that I’ve taken full advantage of it. I’ve been able to date way out of my league just by not having a beer belly. Shut up.
Ok, so on to the work at hand. Your profile is well written and your interests are diverse. You are an attractive gal and no doubt, have little trouble attracting potential suitors. I suppose there's a fetish out there somewhere for underarm perspiration and if that's what you are going for then please, don't cull this photo.
I'm wasting our time here. You gals who play the "schoolgirl/cheerleader" angle know exactly what you are looking for and what you're gonna get in response. And I assume that most of the respondents don't give two hoots and a damn about your apartment. But please, before you and your girlfriend/daughter pose for your Lolita coochie shot, clean your damn bedroom. Or crop your pictures. Shut up.
Guys don't care if your pictures are two years old. And certainly, that's not the reason I culled this one from the broth of visual whateverishness. I remain confounded by the implant size choice. And none of my female readers will give me a plausible answer. Why in the world would you do this to yourself? My only conclusion remains my original one. Since the price is the same, you decide to get the most of your money. I'm all for appropriate augmentation to assist one in looking and feeling better. But these things scare me.
You are pretty, fit and it seems by your profile write-up, reasonably smart. But you are looking for what? A man? Seems to me that you've already got four of 'em. You cougar you.
Let's talk about your underdrawers. Do men like these little get-ups? Of course we do. If you are looking for a hook-up, then by all means, more photos of this get-up. But like I said before, I think there are websites dedicated to the more precise intent of adjudicating such thangs. If you use these photos on a standard dating website, guys aren't gonna see anything or read anything else. Again, just so you know.
Ahh...the dating profile that is intermingled with other photos...photos that aren't of you. Guys don't care about your lens skills and your ability to post a montage of your holiday in Aruba. We are visual but we want to see you...not your vacation vistas. But this photo...this one...I had to include in our lesson. Don't think for one minute young lady, that we don't get the visual metaphor manifest in this clever little display. Turn on the gas logs, pop the bottle of Cold Duck. I'll be right over. Meow.
What can I say here? This young filly probably found the love of her life within a day of posting this photo. Stinky Ledbetter, a retired rodeo clown saw this and it was love at first sight.
The nice lady in the middle is the owner of said dating profile. She was back in Southie for a family reunion and posed with two of her eleven sibs for this little ditty. I'd suggest waiting till you get a little color before posing scantily clad.
Ram Tough. I get it and I'm scared. On what do you want us to focus? I mean really? Listen, as soon as I'm done over at Miss Gas Log Fireplace's house, I'll scoot right over. And finally, I blackened out your licence plate number. Don't you know that everyone has a friend of a friend who works in law enforcement. I had your personal information within an hour after seeing this picture. Don't worry about giving me directions to your house for the bootie-call. I've already driven by your place five times.
Told you last time that the Charlie's Angels pose thang has been done and done and done.
Annie Hall meets the bare midriff thing. Nice actually.
And here's another stunning woman. More so at forty four years old. But here we go again...I've told you already...You can't post such stunning photos of yourself and then admonish in your dating profile headline such things as .... "I AM MORE THAN A HOT BODY...YOU NEED TO LOVE ME FOR MY MIND...MOVE ON IF ALL YOU WANT IS A HOOK UP!" ... Are you kidding me? The conflicting call out here is incredible. And guys are gonna default to every assumption you've admonished us not to make in your headline. Why do I waste my time trying to get you to understand this. I'll be right over after I finish up over at Ms. Dodge Ramtough's house. Meow.
Of course you don't use steroids.
And neither do you. With your five year old pictures.
I'm confused. So I'm just gonna go with my initial assumption here. This is The Happy Hooker meets the Horchow Collection no? And lady, your thingamajiggers are about to hang out. You did realize this when you posted this picture right? And is your name really Sinsayshun?
Let's close out my lesson with this visual treat. She's "lookin' for someone to just hang out with." Five gets you ten that the fella she's currently swilling cool pops with...the guy in the picture...her on again off again brother/daddy/man/cousin/son is gonna be trouble for you. Something tells me your gonna have to fight him. More than once. Emotion trumps logic and this Mensa card carrying cat is gonna be flung a confusing array of emotions regarding you, "that new man that Tammy Lou has done took up with" and it ain't gonna be pretty. This one's a package deal and if you don't handle it just right, we'll see you on an episode of COPS...on location in Effingham S.C.
Onward. Just trying to help. Meow.
ADG, II
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