Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Early Festivus-Call Out The 501st Belgian Cavalry


A quick flight back home to repack the bag and we are off again. I should have stayed in either Philly or Boston but I wanted to be back in my own bed for a night. Those of you who travel know what I mean. And no you idiot-that's not National Airport carpet. That's the carpet in my house.

I did have to shove a bunch of clothes down to the end in order to find my way into said bed.

Jumped back on the plane in the Eagle university stripe from yesterday but this time we manifested waist pageantry in early recognition for Festivus. Everyone in my family wears the red Festivus belt during the season but I just felt a randy ass craving being flung on me to bust the bad boy out early and let me tell you-it goes with nothing. Just how I like to roll-keep ‘em guessing. “Is that his mamma’s belt or his sister’s…and how ‘bout them bedroom slippers?” I was just caught in the tentacles of circumstance and this is what ended up walking out the door to National Airport.

Levis 501-Belgian fellowship for the rest of the rig and boys let me tell you-we are gonna have a talk pretty soon about jeans. If you are over forty years old and are wearing anything but good ole 501s chances are that people are laughing at you. I’ve got some Lucky Brand jeans and cords but you gotta be careful. Nothing says mid life crisis man trying to play young like an ill suited pair of jeans. When in doubt dial 501-501-501.

Flusser three button cavalry twill suit. Flap breast pocket and bellows patch pockets. Double vented and tougher than Kevlar. I’ll wear the suit tomorrow and the coat with a pair of 15 year old Polo corduroys on Friday. Stand back and shut up.

I love how the trad-sartorial twerps go on and on about how déclassé and pedestrian it appears when you leave one of your hand felled sleeve buttons unbuttoned. Get over it. I’m a redneck from South Carolina. This is how we roll. If my boys over at Flusser didn’t rein me in I’d have fuzzy dice hanging off of the ass end of this rig. Maybe I'll put a nipple ring in the chest piece. I haven’t this week crossed paths with anyone in four different airports who had the sartorial presence to even determine if I was breaking a rule or not. Be quiet.

Seriously-this is a dying art-a focus and devotion to hand craftsmanship that in LFGs lifetime will see nobody left with the skills to do this level of handwork. I’ve mentioned before that those in the know speculate that there are fewer than twenty people left in Gotham who can do hand felled button holes really well. To that end if you mess with me I’ll have the next one (when I can afford another coat-twenty years maybe) made with seventeen sleeve buttons and I’ll unbutton ten of ‘em.

I love bellows or poacher pockets. I used to put LFG in one of them when she was a baby. Breast pocket flap is usually reserved for odd jackets and overcoats but I tried to break every rule possible when building this baby.

Now on to Sky Mall again. I found something that I might be interested in when I again perused this Bouillabaisse of bullsh*t. To the left of our Back Buddy is a neck stretcher thang. I’m considering it.

Onward. With John Wayne and The Cavalry....ADG


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